I was super excited for my parents to come and visit me in Colombia. My parents (my mother especially) love a holiday so it didn’t take too much to convince them to come and visit me on the other side of the world. My Mom tried to cover her fears when she realized that the only time they were available was when I’d be in Colombia and for several weeks before the holiday she had sleepless nights over taxi kidnappings and ride by shootings. Luckily, we faced no such obstacles.
My first thought after embracing them both in the clammy heat was the list of goodies I had asked them to bring across the waters with them…marmite!...baked beans!...clean socks!...YAAAAAY! It’s amazing the things you miss from home.

After spending a couple of days seeing the sights in Bogota (all by air conditioned private vehicle of course), they flew to the beautiful sea side port of Cartagena to meet me. Cartagena is definitely the most expensive city in Colombia and there are many western tourists strolling the streets and plaza’s but it is truly beautiful. Areas of the city are still to see development and the old Spanish walls have been beautifully maintained.
We spent our days sipping cerveza’s in shady squares and looking at the stunning fading architecture. My father busied himself in the ships and war museums while Mom and I shopped for souvenirs.

There are several excursions you can take around the city, and we booked all ours through the hostel I was staying in, The Chill House. Dad opted out of the trip to the mud volcano, an experience which wasn’t quite as relaxing as we’d have hoped, but an experience none the less. You drive up to the mud volcano, a massive lump of mud with a slippery climb to the top. Hop in with up to 30 other tourists and bake in the sun as a Colombian man rubs you down. The thick, sticky mud feels strangely calming, and the inability to stay afloat is somewhat unnerving, ending in giggling from all parties as you float off from your group unintentionally and struggle to ‘swim’ back. After negotiating the dangerous climb back down, the group heads to the river where you can pay someone to wash you down, or as we preferred, simply do it yourself. I was finding mud in my ears for the next 3 days so whether you pay someone or not, you’re not gunna get properly clean for a while!

The other trip we went on, which Dad joined, was a day trip to one of the stunning offshore island beaches. I can’t remember the name now, but I will endeavour to update this blog post with more accuracy soon. Most backpackers head off for an overnight stop here which I think is much advised. The tours take you to a few other stops throughout the day which are basically excuses for you to buy things, and leave you with a very short amount of time on the white sand beach which is the bit you want to relax and enjoy. Furthermore, once all the boat loads of tourists have packed off back to town and the beach vendors have given up trying to sell you things, an evening in your hammock or thatched hut would be very close to a slice of paradise.

Finally! We're on a beach! Man had we waited a long time for this. Tyrona, a national park on Colombia's north coast is where the Colombian's go for holidays. A slice of the Caribbean it's seen heavy development, especially in the sleepy village of Taganga on the outskirts of the park.

After a few days adjusting to the heat and munching fresh seafood we headed to the park. We decided to head to the only campsite with kitchen facilities and took some pasta and supplies with us to keep the costs down. We found a place recommended in the bible (Lonely Planet of course!) and Gemma convinced me not to get a mini bus and to walk 4km with 5 liters of water in my rucksack. I almost killed her. Once we'd done that we realised why the mini buses couldn't go any further and took a 30 minute hike up and over huge boulders to get to the beach itself. You can take a horse but with the steep ups and downs I reckon that'd be pretty traumatic too! It was tough but the scenery was great.
Once we'd settled into our hammock and had rum and pasta in our bellies we were planning tomorrows beach action.

Tyrona really is paradise. We stayed in a campsite just back from the beach (£3.50 a hammock) but for a little more (around £8) you can have a beach front hammock on Cabo San Juan. We stayed at Finca don Pedro which had kitchen facilities as well as a restaurant and a great communal atmosphere. A 10 minute walk to the nearest beach and another 30 minute jungle trek to pristine waters suitable for swimming, it was stunning. Logs washed up on the beaches and it was possible to find a secluded stretch of sand somewhere along the way. There are lots of treks to keep you busy within Tyrona as well as wildlife spotting trips but we stayed true to ourselves and spent lazy days on the beach sipping cerveza's.

Cali, the town most backpackers will get to when crossing in from Ecuador gets its name from the Spanish 'caliente' meaning 'hot'. My travel buddy and I were mega excited for scorching heat and a little trip to the zoo. After a stressful border crossing at Ipiales, we wanted something to cheer us up. For anyone interested we'd arranged a full day of travel to get us to the border town before dark. Horror stories of robbings on these borders are rife, especially the Colombian guerrilla ones.. (Now I realise these are all ridiculous as Colombian people are some of the friendliest I've met). We arrived on time at about 5pm and as 6pm drew closer we were nearing the front of the que after about 5 pusher-inners had jumped ahead. "Heeeey, that's how they do it in South America", we mused. A que was forming at another window but we held our ground as the light faded.

There was one woman to go before us when the window closed and the guard fucked off. Brilliant. As she pushed her way to the front of the second que I grabbed Gemma's arm, smiled at the lady and said "We're with you!"
The lady in the second que stuck her arm out and blocked us so the three of us waited patiently.

The guard on duty had a particularly tight uniform bursting at the buttons and Gemma and I were giggling at his resemblance to a member of the YMCA when a gentleman piped up from behind "You think it's funny you can push in because you're westerners?"
Erm I don't think so Mister! In broken Spanish I argued that "Actually we've waited a really long time and loads of people pushed infront of us and were pushing with this non westerner so eeeeeerm no??!!" When Gemma added the brilliant line of "Noone wants to be out after dark!"

Everyone looked a little scared and confused, the guard grabbed our passports, stamped then quickly and told us to go. We ran across the border, were ushered into an unmarked car by a policeman and shit ourselves the whole way to our dirty hotel where we got takeaway pizza and watched horror films before our early morning bus to Cali. The zoo was necessary!

Cali zoo has tons of animals, lots of big scary ones like bears and lions and weird cute ones like meerkats and anteaters along with a ton of animals that I have no idea about. It was cool! They also had nice statues for photo ops, and this amazing 'make monkey facial expressions' mirror board. We spent a good half an hour pushing kids out of the way here.

We weren't sure if these turtle shells were for kids, but seen as they had small ones and then one that was less small we have it a go. Brilliant!

SURVIVAL TIP
Take a packed lunch to the zoo, the food's crap and overpriced.

Police Museum:

The Museo Historico Policia (not to be confused with the Military museum where you'll find tanks and other manly things) is a humorous museum that fills a nice afternoon. It houses a strange collection of police related odds and ends such as Pablo Escobar's gold encrusted Harley (and a roof tile with his blood on, although this was closed when I went), a range of military uniforms, weapons and a whole room on the drug situation in Colombia. Anyone trying to smuggle drugs can learn how NOT to and there was even a plaque to a canine hero who had sniffed out the largest drug raid ever recorded in Colombia. They gave him a medal!

Our guide was what made it though, he was absolutely hilarious, keeping watch as we tried on hats from around the world and posing with our pen for photos. He even took us up on the roof for views of the city and told us a story about the images on Colombian money. We got a free poster when we left too!

For a night out in Bogota head to Carne del Res outside of the city. Most hostels will put on a party bus of some sorts to take you there. It's expensive but the food is amazing! We got a steak and bottle of rum and then after everyone's finished eating you jump up on the table and dance away. It gets pretty crazy but the restaurant vibe will see you heading to an after party at around 2am.

Finally I have to show you some of the street art scattered around the city. The Old Town has some really beautiful buildings and street performers hang from trees in the small squares each evening. Grab a beer from the corner shop and go and hear a story being told or see a tightrope walker, this is what I loved about Bogota.

SURVIVAL TIP
Don't be scared! Your guidebook might deter you from the old quarter but it really is beautiful. There are police everywhere so you feel safe and if you keep your wits about you, like in any large city, you should be fine.